🎧 Current Podcast; The Solution To All Of Your Problem’s — Diary of a CEO
I wouldn’t go as far as to say that this framework solves each and every problem, but it certainly helps you to steady yourself, rationalise and act when faced with a problem. In Moment 40, Steven Bartlett picked out a framework that has altered his perception entirely; we are in control of only our mind, nothing else. And with this, we are to alter our thoughts accordingly.
What is the focus of this podcast episode? Bartlett focused on two key ideas that pop up almost everywhere, especially in stoic philosophy. Those ideas regard the things we can control and the things that we can’t. With the latter, that regards almost everything in life. The weather, the actions of our friends, the death of a loved one etc. We cannot control these events. What can we control?
Our mind. We have the full capacity to control everything that goes on in our mind. This regards our decisions, beliefs, opinions, judgements, actions and thoughts. Especially our thoughts. You might ask, why are we to focus on something so small and internal? We need to focus on the mind, because that is all we truly possess. And because we possess it, we can use it to our advantage.
It is futile trying to control all of the external factors. We, quite frankly, do not have the capability to change any of that. Trying to control the emotions of your friends, or the time it takes to get to work. They are out of our reach. When we try to alter and control that which is external, it causes us immense anguish and stress, something that none of us deserve to feel. We cannot change them, but we do have the capability to choose how we respond to them.
If we are in control of our thoughts, perceptions and choices, it enables us to have little problem with seeing the good in things. In our day to day experience, nothing is exactly ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Most events are neutral. It is our mind that attaches that emotion to the event. If we don’t get the promotion that we desired, we can choose to see it as fatal, a time of turmoil. We could get angry at the world, we could blame everyone else. To some extent, this situation is quite sad. It’s a setback. However, what we should also do is to try and look for the advantage in this situation, try and turn it on its head. We have the power to alter our thoughts in that way, to see what we want to see.
What the CEO advises us to do is to look into our mind. Look into the beliefs that we have, the judgements that we make, and to become particularly aware of our thoughts. Most of the time, we can attach bad emotions to events where they are not warranted. And this can cloud our actions that follow. This approach forces external blame to become internal responsibility. Rather than blaming others for negative things, we look to ourself for responsibility. And when we take this responsibility, the event becomes something in our control, something that we can change for the better.
📖 Current Read; The Obstacle is the Way — Ryan Holiday
Despite having already focused on some of the great wisdom in this book, there was a particular chapter that caught my eye, and I took extensive notes! It would be hard not to write about it, considering how much it has shaped my current reality. Within the ‘ACTION’ section of the book, Ryan Holiday focuses on a principle called ‘Channel Your Energy’
The author tells the story of Arthur Ashe, a great tennis player in the late 50’s and 60’s. He had a particular approach to the game that many find hard to master; he was ‘physically loose and mentally tight’. The man knew that to avoid segregation and discrimination in these years, there was no place for extensive emotion in his appearances. He recognised that sadly, he would have to hide almost all his emotion, to mask it all carefully. Displaying any true amount of emotion would hinder him, rather than help him.
Yet, he didn’t simply ignore his emotions, he channeled them into his game. On the tennis court, he was a beautiful contradiction. He attempted, and made, shots that made the crowd gasp. With his form, he was graceful, bold and brave. He did not let any of it stop him, rather, it lead him to greatness.
What is the message here? Ashe could’ve let the tough times stop him from playing the game he loved. He could’ve lashed out, he could’ve became angry and complained at the world. Yet, he understood the futility of this. He understood that demonstrating his emotions like this would do no good. And so, he took all of the pent up anger and put it into his tennis. He let the anger drive him, encourage him, motivate him. The message is, channel your energy where it is needed.
Adversity can harden you, or, it can loosen you up. You choose what happens.
In the face of a grave obstacle, you could let your emotions take over, and this could cost you something quite profound. You could complain, and try to change something that is not in your control. Or, you could learn to steady yourself, rationalise, and then channel all of the energy into what matters. This is in our hands! We can choose to crumble over an obstacle, or to let it fuel us, to strengthen us.
When faced with many grave obstacles, we are not to let them stop us, but fuel us instead.
🗣 When jarred, unavoidably, by circumstance revert at once to yourself and don’t lose the rhythm more than you can help. You’ll have a better grasp of harmony if you keep going back to it. — MARCUS AURELIUS
Idea of the Week 💭
On the Joy of Seeing Others Succeed.
How many times in life have you found yourself frustrated and upset at the success of others? Maybe somebody got the promotion that you desired, or maybe somebody won the game that you thought was yours. The common response in these situations is to let our emotions take control. We let ourselves become riled up. We curse the person who has succeeded, we blame them and shift all the focus to externalities. We ignore any of our own faults.
This approach, however, is clearly quite flawed. Blaming somebody else for their success and your loss does absolutely nothing to change the situation. They are still successful, you are just angry. All it does is add emotional baggage, which is draining in all aspects.
Rather than being envious, jealous, or spiteful, we are to encourage and praise the success. When somebody gets the success that we want, it is in our best interests to celebrate with them! Congratulate them, praise them, appreciate them. Why does this work? A few key reasons;
- When you praise the success of others, rather than becoming envious, you save yourself a ton of negativity. Carrying the burden of negative thoughts does nothing for our soul asides destroy it. When you celebrate others, you find yourself much happier and grateful!
- Celebrating others’ success allows us to become stronger. When we blame others for our mistakes, and get angry at them for winning, we lose a vital learning point. When we shift the responsibility to someone else, we ignore the chance to look at why we made those mistakes. To analyse what we did wrong, and what we could do better. If we focus primarily on accepting the success of others, we have a chance to learn from what they did efficiently, and apply it to our own approach. This, along with the added positivity, allows us to become stronger.
Tweet of the Week ✍🏻
You become extraordinary when you do the ordinary things consistently.
This tweet from @FitFounder was exactly what I needed to see on my timeline earlier in the week! The tweet focuses, in other words, on compound habits, and how small improvements are what it takes to become great.
It is a widespread belief that overnight success is not the way to go about things. The real key to success is habits. Strong, consistent habits. When we build a habit, and we are consistent with it, that is when we will see timeless results. Results that do not crumble at the drop of a coin.
If you do an activity once each day, everything you learn and experience compounds on each other. This activity becomes an effortless habit. Rather, if you do an activity once and never do it again, you’ll lose what you learnt pretty quickly. It’s similar to when we read a book! We close the book, believing that we finished it, yet in a week’s time, we can barely remember a single fact or concept noted in the book. Why? Because we lack the consistent reminder of the concepts. They will just float away..
To become extraordinary, we must do the ordinary things consistently. We must read, and do it every day. We must meditate, and do it every day. We must reflect, and do it everyday. These things are all ordinary and fairly simple, yet with time, patience and consistency, they shape us into becoming extraordinary. They are not easy, but they will become easy with daily practice. It may seem like a lot to do in one 24 hour period, but if you only do these activities sporadically, you are missing our on their immense benefits. We will not see the results we desire, we will not become extraordinary.
We often see successful people making their job look effortless. And so, we believe that they are extraordinary, and that it could never be us. In reality, they simply have strong, ordinary baselines. They have built strong habits, accompanied by discipline and consistency, that make doing what they love joyful and free-flowing to the onlooker. They take the ordinary things and do them so often that it becomes effortless.
Having ordinary habits enables you to become great, as you have something to fall back on. You have the compound knowledge you need, you will not crumble under pressure, or fall short.
To end, here’s a question from me! ⚡️
How can you block out the comments, the pessimism and the gossip from others and ensure that you don’t let it stop your flow?
Thanks for reading!
Sam. 😄
