If you want to live a happy and successful life, you must learn to say no.
There is no shortcut to this. You must say no.
There’s 3 factors in particular that you must cultivate an indifference to.
These factors, if you don’t say no to them, can take over your life, and this can have many negative impacts.
It is your responsibility to say no.
Say No
You must say no.
You must put yourself first and grow.
Why?
Rather than outlining why saying no to these 3 factors is in your best interests, perhaps it would be easier to outline the negatives of not saying no.
If you don’t say no;
- Your happiness could decrease
- Your productivity could decrease
- You may not progress or move forward
- You will struggle when it is not necessary
When you fail to say no, you let the other aspects control you.
This is toxic in more ways than just one.
Your Responsibility
It is your responsibility to take control of your own life.
You cannot always fight against resistance.
You cannot control everything (particularly regarding external factors)
You cannot always be right.
You must say no, and regain the claim on your own life.
I. Say No To Your Need To Be Right
The Need
Universally, we have a need to be right.
This stems from multiple things, really;
- The need to fit in.
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of ridicule.
- Anger.
Whatever the reason, we always want to be right.
We can’t stand the idea of our idea being less superior in comparison to another. It’s a huge blow.
The Risks
However, your need to be right can actually be incredibly detrimental.
Not just to your progress and productivity, but to your overall happiness and life, too.
There’s two ways in particular that your need to be right can harm you.
- It’s exhausting
Having the need to be correct in all situations is absolutely exhausting.
It means that, in general day to day life, you can never let your guard down and relax!
Always arguing, persuading and talking about your own points is immensely tiring.
It would be in your best interest to direct that energy elsewhere.
2. You miss out on learning opportunities
Having the constant need to be right takes away from your own development.
If you are always right, you see no way to move forward.
If you are always right, you see no point in listening to others.
If you are always right, you see no point in trying.
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This perspective is incredibly detrimental!
There is always a way to move forward.
There is always a point in keeping your ears and mind open.
Do not be obnoxious and arrogant; do not hinder your own development.
Action Points
You must recognise that being wrong, and making mistakes, is a natural part of life. In fact, it is even an incredibly beneficial part of life!
You need to keep an open mind.
You need to listen to others.
You need to make mistakes.
All of this is imperative to your growth!
Being wrong is an opportunity to learn.
II. Say No To Your Resistance To Change
The Resistance
Many have a resistance to change.
Many see change as a huge, detrimental monster, one that works to harm and hinder you.
Many spend all their life running from change; they cling to the way things were.
There is a collective resistance to change within us.
The Risks
There are great risks attached to shying away from natural change.
Risks such as;
- It’s exhausting.
- Constant frustration and tiredness.
- Lack of growth.
- Not moving forward.
- Missing out on learning opportunities.
When you go against the natural way of the world, how do you expect to grow?
It’s virtually impossible to move forward if you spend all your time battling with nature.
Action Points
Rather than resisting natural change, yield to it.
Change is not a monster to fear. Change is not a villain.
Change can bring about many brilliant, wonderful, and delightful things!
Yield to the natural change of life.
If anything, bring about your own change! Take control!
III. Say No To Your Need To Control Everything
The Need
Similarly to the collective need to be correct, there’s also a collective desire to control things.
This likely stems from the uncertainty that comes from a lack of control; nobody can handle this uncertainty.
And so, with all our might, we try to control everything and anything.
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However, this is futile. You cannot control everything.
This becomes evident through the idea of ‘sphere of control’
Sphere Of Control
The term sphere of control simply regards the things that we can control, alter, or direct.
It regards the things that we can actively change through action or thought.
Here’s a few examples:
- Our mood
- Our physical health
- Our thoughts
- Our actions
- Our sleep schedule
- Our water intake
We can change these things.
Outside The Sphere of Control
In turn, the things that are outside our sphere of control are simply the things that we cannot control.
We cannot alter, change or direct these events as much as we may try.
Here’s a few examples:
- The emotions of others
- The weather
- The current president
You must let go of anything that lies outside your sphere of control, for you simply cannot do anything about it!
Save your time and energy.
The Risks
There’s many negatives that come with constantly trying to control everything and everyone.
Risks such as;
- Constant frustration
- Lack of progress
- Anger and arrogance
- Tiredness
- Lack of productivity
How do you expect to live your own life if you are too busy trying to control everyone else’s?
It won’t work! You simply end up wasting your own time and energy.
Action Points
You must, first and foremost, recognise that not everything is in your control.
You cannot control people, the weather, the future….. anything as such.
In fact, most things are entirely out of your control!
This is a harsh truth, but one you need to recognise and accept.
An acceptance of this brings about great power.
Further, with the notion that not everything is in your control, you must work to focus on only the things you can control.
Do not waste your energy where it brings about no change.
Focus instead on what you can alter; yourself, your thoughts and your actions.
In Conclusion
You must learn to say no.
No matter how hard it may be, no matter how gruelling and challenging.
It is worth it in the end.
You must say no to;
- Your need to be right
- Your resistance to change
- Your need to control everything
